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All the phrases you need to know for love in Japanese

Dating is already complicated as it is in your own language, so what more in another!

Dating culture in Japan

“Kokuhaku” or “confession” culture

In animes, you usually see a student confessing their love to a crush after school. This is actually closer to reality than you think! People in Japan confess their feelings or kokuhaku suru (告白する) first before dating.

Gender Roles

In Japanese culture, roles are reversed! Women are expected to have their hearts on their sleeves, while men are expected to be stoic and not as expressive about their feelings! Women are expected to make the first move and express what they want to do next in the relationship. 

Speaking of gender roles, you should always remember to use the correct pronouns for yourself depending on your gender or preferred gender identification. Masculinity is usually expressed by using the pronouns 僕 (ぼく/boku) or 俺 (おれ/ore)—to say “me” or “mine”. These two words are used by men or people who are sexually male oriented in casual conversations. Women and female oriented people use  私 (わたし/watashi).

Group dating

If you have lived in Japan long enough, you might’ve heard of something called gokon (合コン) or group dates. This is usually where a group of men and women organize a night out together, with the hope of meeting someone they can see romantically. If you want a japanese friend to introduce you to someone, ask them the following question:

誰か紹介してくれませんか？
Dare ka shoukaishite kuremasenka?
Could you introduce me to someone?

This is getting serious: flirting, dating and falling in love

Flirting like a pro

If you’ve finally found someone you’re interested in, complementing (ほめる/homeru) them (in an earnest way, of course) is one of the best ways to get on their good graces. This can be done by using a simple and basic sentence. Don’t lay it on too thick though! Be smooth about it.

 (adjective)ですね。
(adjective)desu ne.
You are ________.

For her, saying she’s cute (かわいい/kawaii) or she’s beautiful（きれい/kirei) are huge plus points while for him, saying he’s cool (かっこいい/kakkoii) or handsome（ハンサム/hansamu）will surely give them butterflies. 

If you want to go a bit further with your flirting, get a bit more physical with it! The best way to do it is by asking, just to make sure that the love is felt both ways and that you aren’t doing anything to make your sweetheart uncomfortable.

キスしてもいい？
 Kisu shite mo ii?
 Can I kiss you?

手をつないでもいい？
Te wo tsunaide mo ii?
Can I hold your hand?

恥ずかしいですよ。
Hazukashii desu yo.
 I'm getting embarrassed/ I’m embarrassed!

Confessing your feelings and asking someone out

Since confessing is the first step to making things official, make sure you do it right! Japanese people are direct and confess to their sweetheart by using the phrases below. 

好きです。
 suki desu
 I like you. 

大好きです。
 dai suki desu
I love you.

好きです。付き合ってください！ 
Suki desu. Tsukiatte kudasai! 
 I like you. Please go out with me/Please date me!

B: はい！ お願いします！
Hai! Onegaishimasu!
 Yes, please! 

When everything goes well, you can finally use labels. You now have a girlfriend (彼女/kanojo) or boyfriend (彼氏/kareshi) and are dating(付き合っている)!

All the phrases you need to know for sex in Japanese

Bedroom basics to turn up the heat in your bedroom and textbooks

The part you’ve all been waiting for, sex phrases and talking dirty. This is actually very important since words that are used in this context are more colloquial and modern. Having sex (セックスする(sekususuru)/エッチする(ecchisuru) is something that is bound to happen and you better be prepared for it!

Communicate that you are getting in the mood not just to convey what you feel to your partner, but to also make sure your partner has time to react if they are into it like you are

Body parts and what to do with them

Here are a few phrases you can use to get hotter, better experiences with your Japanese partner in the bedroom. Just insert the body part of your choice (pun intended) in the blanks and fire away!

(noun) 触って。
(noun) sawatte.
Touch my ______.

(noun)なめて。
(noun) namete.
Lick my ______.

(noun) 叩いて。
(noun) tataite.
Spank my _____.

いれてほしい!
Irete hoshii!
Put it in!

As an added bonus, here are a few more phrases to help you understand what’s happening in the bedroom. Use it to your advantage and have fun with it!

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