BondLingo Learn Japanese

Top 10 Ways to Apologize in Japanese : Unfortunately, none of us is perfect. On occasion there will come a time when we make a mistake and have to tell someone that we are sorry. Today, we’re going to look at the top 10 ways to apologize in Japanese, which will include common phrases as well as nonverbal means of expression.

When to Apologize

For the most part, the situations in which you would apologize in Japan are the same as anywhere. Stepping on someone’s foot, for example, or accidentally cutting someone in line are instances that would call for an apology no matter what country you’re in. One difference in Japan, however, is that Japanese people will apologize when someone does something nice for them as well, such as giving them a gift or doing them a favor. It sounds strange, right? Someone giving you a gift and then saying, “I’m sorry” in response. The reason the Japanese respond this way is because the other person had to put time and effort into the nice thing they did, so they feel that they’re being a burden. Of course, that isn’t the case, but that is the way of the culture. 

Now that we know in what situations to apologize, let’s look at some ways to say, “I’m sorry,” in Japanese!

1. Sumimasen

Sumimasen is listed as #1 because it is your go-to word in case you forget the other 9 on this list. It means both “I’m sorry” and “Excuse me.” You can use it for apologizing for something you did wrong, or you can say it to someone if they’re in your way and you’d like to get past them. It’s even a formal way of getting someone’s attention, such as a waiter at a restaurant or someone ahead of you in line who’s dropped their wallet.

2. Gomen Nasai

While the above sumimasen means both “I’m sorry” and “Excuse me,” gomen nasai is more often used to mean just “I’m sorry.” Therefore, as a good rule of thumb, it’s best to default to gomen nasai for “I’m sorry,” and sumimasen for “Excuse me.”

3. Doumo Sumimasen

Remember how I said that the Japanese will apologize when someone does something nice for them? This is a phrase reserved for that kind of situation. It may be confusing at first to see doumo (Thank you) and sumimasen (I’m sorry) right next to each other, but that’s the Japanese for you. A study in contradictions!

4. Shitsurei shimasu

This is another way of saying “Excuse me,” but it’s reserved for more formal situations. Shitsurei shimasu is used in business settings and when people are serving you, such as at a restaurant or hair salon. If you’re in a crowded bar and a staff member needs to get past you, they won’t usually say, “Sumimasen,” they’ll say, “Shitsurei shimasu.” Also, if a waiter spills something, they’ll say it to mean “I’m sorry.” A hair designer will also use it when they need to put their hands on you for something—like laying a blanket over your lap or before shampooing your hair.

5. Moushiwake Gozaimasen

This is much more formal than the above phrases. It is used to express how awful you feel for the act you commited and is mostly used when apologizing to superiors or authority figures. On occasion it can be used to express your deepest gratitude for a favor someone has done for you—like saving your life!

6. Osoreirimasu

This is another one of those I’m sorry/thank you hybrids. Except this word is much more formal than doumo sumimasen. This is used mostly in business and service settings. If, for example, you are eating ramen, and when you’re finished, you gather your dirty dishes and napkins and place them up on the counter for the staff to pick up easier, the staff member will probably say, “Osoreirimasu.” In this situation it means, “I’m sorry for not coming quicker to clear away your dishes, but I appreciate you setting everything up on the counter like you did. It makes my job easier. Thank you.”

7. O-jama Shimasu

This phrase is reserved for the specific situation, and that situation is entering a person’s house or their room. It means something along the lines of, “Sorry to stop by so unexpectedly,” or “Sorry to barge in on you.” O-jama shimasu is said every time you enter someone’s private property or space.

8. O-matase Itashimashita

This one is used for apologizing when someone has been waiting for you for a while. In English it means, “Sorry to keep you waiting.” O-matase Itashimashita is the formal way of saying it and is used in business and service settings. For example, the waiter will say, “O-matase Itashimashita” when bringing out your food—because you’d been waiting so long for it. However, this phrase can also be used in more casual settings with friends—like if someone is waiting for you in the living room to get out of the shower. In this case, you can just shorten it to “O-matase.”

9. Buy Them a Gift or Do Something Nice for Them

As with any culture in the world, one of the best ways to apologize and show that you mean it is by buying the offendee a gift or doing something nice for them. If you choose to buy a gift, the Japanese love things such as packaged souvenirs—or omiyage. If you choose to do something nice instead, it could be anything from washing their car in the summer time to shoveling their driveway in the winter.

10. Bow

Bowing is an integral part of Japanese culture. While it is generally used for greetings, parting ways, and showing respect, a deep bow is also a way of apologizing. The longer and deeper the bow, the more serious the wrongdoing. And if you’ve done something really really bad, like destroyed someone’s life or career, there is an ultra-deep bow called a dogeza (土下座). This bow is performed by getting on your hands and knees and touching the ground with your forehead before the person you’ve offended. If you spend enough time in Japan, you may get to see a live dogeza in the street (I’ve seen two)!

Now that you know 10 new ways to apologize to the Japanese, it’s time to get out there and practice! Well, I don’t mean to deliberately go out there and offend someone, but if the situation arises, try using one of the phrases above!

Practice, practice, practice!  

Learn Japanese Online with BondLingo

Study in Japan?

Recommend