Get the Girl of Your Dreams!: How to Pick Up Girls in Japan:Japanese women. You love them, I love them. From their long lustrous black hair all the way down to their petite figures, these women are the envy of the entire world. Perhaps the Japanese diet of rice, fish and seaweed is what keeps them so trim.

Perhaps it’s the harmonious nature of their society that makes them so attentive and curious, their smiles so bright and inviting, their laughs so cute and bubbly. But these are just the physical aspects of Japanese women.

Picking Up Girls in Japan | In-Field + Breakdowns
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How to Pick Up Girls in Japan

Not only is their ultra-feminine nature ideal for men, they’re also a lot of fun to be around! When they’re out with their friends, they like to have a good time and act goofy. They’re also some of the kindest, most considerate people in the world. And being around them is quite relaxing if I do say so myself! 

That said, now comes the hard part. How do you get out there and meet the Japanese girl of your dreams? What do you wear? Where do you go? What do you say? In today’s article, I will answer all of these questions, and at the end I will reveal the ultimate secret to attracting the Japanese girl of your dreams.

What to Wear

This part is the most simple and straightforward. The right thing to wear when it comes to attracting the Japanese girl of your dreams comes down to one word:



I cannot stress this enough. Japan is a culture that prizes hard work and long hours. The people also place high value on men who work office jobs at major companies. Therefore, when going out, Japanese women are constantly looking for the highest-value man in the room (and don’t think your foreignness lets you off the hook because it doesn’t!). Going out to meet Japanese women in anything other than a suit and tie is like wearing beer goggles to shoot free throws: you’re intentionally handicapping yourself. 

If you don’t have a suit already, get out there and buy one! And make sure it’s tailored to your body as well. The shoulders of the jacket must fit perfectly, which means no bunching or extra padding hanging off. You want the edges of the shoulder pads to be square with your arms. Also, make sure that the pants and jacket sleeves are the right length. A tailor is your friend in this regard. Trust her, she’ll know exactly what to do and make you a very happy and handsome customer.     

Where to Go


Japan is known as one of the safest countries in the world, so, as a non-Japanese person (and probably traveler), you can get away with a lot more socially than in other countries. Let’s say you’re walking down the street in Los Angeles, and you spot a beautiful woman coming in the opposite direction. If you try to stop and talk to her, there’s a good chance she’ll whip out the pepper spray and burn your eyeballs out. However, imagine if it were the same woman walking down the street in a more rural area like, say, Abbotsford, Wisconsin.

She’s less likely to experience a dangerous encounter in a smaller town than in a big city, so her guard will be less rigid. She might even take the time to recommend a good restaurant in the area! 

That said, Tokyo has more of the rural town feel in regard to openness to talking to strangers. Therefore, the answer to the question of where to go to meet Japanese women is this: anywhere! You’re a lost tourist wandering around a city in Japan! You’re an adventurous guy doing adventurous things! You can stop and talk to anyone you want because you’re having a good time and want to spread the joy!

WARNING: While the above may be technically true, that does NOT mean that this is the best way to meet the woman of your dreams. You may be able to strike up a few conversations in Japan while out and about, but it will most likely end right then and there when you two part ways—even if you do manage to get her Instagram! So, I recommend sticking to international parties, meetup gatherings, and bars and clubs that cater to non-Japanese clientele.

The women there will be much more open to conversing and making friends—or even dating you! For international parties I recommend the following:

  1. Tokyo Info (
  2. Gaitomo (  

Meetup gatherings are happening all the time anywhere and everywhere whether you like it or not. Therefore, any search on for events in the area will produce the results you’re looking for. There are tons of them catering to people with interests ranging from language exchange to anime otakus. 

As far as bars and clubs, I recommend sticking to areas of Tokyo that non-Japanese (and Japanese who want to meet non-Japanese) frequent; such as, Roppongi and Shibuya. One popular chain of bars is HUB, so I suggest starting the night there and seeing where it takes you. 

Hey! Great opening line! “I’m not from around her. Know any good bars or clubs in the area?” 

Speaking of opening lines, it’s time to get to the real meat of picking up women in Japan…

What to Say (the Initial Approach)

Top 10 useful Japanese pick-up lines: So cheesy, they might actually work

Let’s say you take my advice from above and wear the suit and start the night out at HUB. You get your drink, find a nice cozy table in the corner of the bar, and out of the corner of your eye you spot exactly what you were looking for when you decided to go out that night. A real beauty. A 10. A woman who would stare through you like a ghost if you tried to talk to her in your home country. 

What do you do?


Well, first you have to get up and go talk to her. I think that’s pretty obvious. You can’t meet a Japanese woman and go on a date with her without first going over and talking to her. Be that as it may, getting the courage to make that initial approach is often times the hardest part about meeting and dating women. Because, hey, she might ignore you or like walk away or something… 

Well, suck it up, cuz! You’re gonna have a long and lonely trip to the land of the rising sun if you don’t take the plunge and put yourself out there. You have to be the one that approaches and talks to them.

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What to Say (after the Approach)

Let’s say you do muster the courage to approach your dream girl at the other end of the bar. 

What do you say?

The hands-down best opening line isn’t something you can read in a phrase book like Making Out in Japanese. Actually, that’s a great way to come off as a dumbass who’s not getting anyone’s digits that night! Ha! The best opening line is what I like to call “the golden self-intro.” The golden self-intro consists of these three sentences (in order):

  1. “Hi.”
  2. “I’m (name).”
  3. “I’m from (country).”

Yup, that’s it! Simple, simple, simple. If a woman doesn’t find something in the golden self-intro to latch onto and make a conversation out of, she’s probably not interested. Abandon her and go find someone else worth your time.

Sono megane ni atterune.
Those glasses look great on you/suits you.
Anata wa hontoni kirei da ne
You really are beautiful.
Boku/Watashi no nihonggo no sensei ni natte kureru?
Will you become my Japanese teacher?
Issho ni shashin torimasenka?
Let’s take a photo together.

Now Comes the Kicker!

Let’s say that you’ve approached your dream girl, you’ve given the golden self-intro, and the two of you have successfully started a conversation. You may even be hitting it off really well! She might actually be INTO YOU! 

But something happens… 

A Japanese guy (in a suit, remember!) overhears the two of you speaking in English. 

“English!” he thinks to himself. “Haha, I got this!” 

He then slips in from the sidelines and states his golden self-intro for you and the girl. But you notice by the look on the girl’s face that for some reason she’s more impressed by his golden self-intro than yours. 

Why is that? 

I’ll tell you why. It’s because he’s some random Japanese guy in a bar that can speak English with the foreign tourist! Most Japanese people are too shy to speak English, but this guy is not like the other Japanese people. He’s confident enough to approach two strangers, he puts himself out there by speaking in his non-native language, and, of course, he’s wearing a suit! He probably actually does work at an office for a major company!

And guess what? On top of all of that, he also SPEAKS JAPANESE!

So what happens after the Japanese guy enters the conversation? The three of you shoot the shit in English for a couple minutes, and the guy suddenly switches to Japanese and turns toward the girl. The look in her eyes is total absorption as they talk about this and that. Soon you can’t understand anything they’re talking about anymore. You have been shut out. The two of them seem to be getting along way better than you and her ever were. In fact, they’re enjoying themselves so much that they seem to forget you’re still standing there…or that you even existed in the first place!

Some guy taps you on the shoulder from behind, and you turn around. 

“Hey, buddy!” he says. “You in line?” 

You tell him no, and step out of the way to let him by.


Later, you approach another beautiful woman. You check everything off the list.

  1. Suit (check)
  2. Approach the girl (check)
  3. Golden self-intro (check)

Now, the two of you are talking about traveling.

“Oh, you’re from America!” she says. “I want to go there someday!”

Everything seems to be going smoothly until…

…it happens again…

Some guy overhears the two of you talking in English and steps in from the sidelines. Only this time it’s not a Japanese guy. It’s an American guy just like you! And he’s wearing a suit just like you!

“Hey,” he says, “I heard you say you were from Wisconsin. My second cousin’s great aunt’s uncle bought cheese from there once.” 

He then turns to the woman you’re talking to and starts firing Japanese at her. She almost falls over backward in surprise. This random American at a bar is not only wearing a suit and didn’t use one of those corny pick-up lines from a phrasebook… 


So it happens again. Just like with the Japanese guy from earlier. The American guy and your dream girl speak in Japanese, and you can’t understand what they’re saying. You have been shut out AGAIN! Two more people at that bar forget you exist and leave you standing there like an oaf AGAIN! It’s not long before you feel that tap on your shoulder again.

“Hey, buddy! You in line?” the same guy says.

“No,” you reply. But instead of moving to the side and letting him pass, you step past him on your way to the door. It’s time to turn in for the night.

The Secret to Picking Up Girls in Japan 

So what went wrong? You did everything I told you to do. You wore a suit, you went to a foreign-friendly bar, you gave the golden self-intro, and you even struck up a few conversations! But one fact remains… 

You didn’t wind up with the girl of your dreams. 

How did the Japanese and American guy steal those girls from you from right under your nose?

Plain and simple…


And this, dear readers, is the secret to picking up girls in Japan. If you really want to land your ideal girl, your chances skyrocket if you can speak Japanese. And the more fluent you are the more unstoppable you will be. If you rely on the English ability of the girl, she had better be native-level fluent (extremely rare); otherwise the same thing will happen over and over again: some guy will overhear people speaking English, swoop in, say something innocuous, and then switch to Japanese and steal the girl from you. 




The reason guys who speak Japanese are the most successful with Japanese women is because people are more comfortable speaking in their native tongue. It’s not hard to understand that talking in a foreign language can get tiring after a while. On top of that, some girls, even though they speak a little English, can’t truly relax and say what they want to say because of their inexperience with the language. With a limited vocabulary, they’re restricted to only certain kinds of conversation topics…because that’s all they know! Therefore, even though it seems like the girl is excited to talk about traveling, her face is probably lighting up because it’s something she has the ability to talk about in English, not because she actually likes talking about traveling. 

Actually, she’s probably had that same conversation with every single non-Japanese person she’s met that night because that’s all the English she knows! No wonder it’s so easy for Japanese speakers to step in and sweep them away!

Speaking Japanese is what makes you a real prospect in the eyes of a beautiful Japanese woman. Don’t believe me? Next time you come to Japan, take a look around, listen to the conversations. Ninety nine percent of them are in Japanese! Take a look at the non-Japanese guys talking to the girls. Are they speaking English or Japanese? Look at the different groups of people conversing. Which conversations are the most lively, the ones in English with non-Japanese present, or the ones in Japanese with non-Japanese present? Study the expressions on Japanese people’s faces and decide which language they feel most at ease with. Of course! It’s Japanese!

So? What Can You Do?

The answer is simple: LEARN JAPANESE

I realized very early when I first moved to Japan that there was only so far I could get with women if I relied on their English ability. The only thing that truly improved my love life was spending just an hour a day learning the language. And that’s all you have to do, too!

Bondlingo has a great Japanese language program, so I recommend signing up today! The sooner you begin your lessons, the sooner you’ll be able to score the Japanese girl of your dreams! Learn Japanese online with Bondlingo immediately!

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How to pick up guys in Japanese